she is feeling a little sick nowadays. one of her ears are infected, her throat feels terrible speaking is an inconvenience, and her hip hurts so badly she has to crouch a little.
i'd really want to cry. see, i hate to see old people to slowly age like that. and you know that one day, you're not going to see them for a very long time. her fragile figure had made me vulnerable too. its a bit too fast, don't you think? and the worst part is, there is nothing i can do to stop the process.
my mum told me when losing a loved one, the process, being through it all until the end; is always the most painful one. when she was in her teens and was around to spend the last weeks with her dad, she experienced it all. how he changed so much from the chemo and meds, how he lashed his frustration at her, how he saw 'things' around the hospital, how he went through the despair.
but no, my granny's not in despair. and no, she is not dying. but this opened my eyes, that this will happen someday. i know that she is going to heaven. but, saying a goodbye, and meet again for a really long time, is really hard.
and, you know, this doesn't really applies to family members only. its the people around you. to expand God's kingdom, you need to feel that life can be lost within secs. SO PRECIOUS. AND SO FRAGILE. not saying that everybody should be surgeons and stitch up bodies; more like, saving souls.
and, spread a little love. how could something that is supposed to be easily given out, be so hard to distribute? but truth is, the world needs more love. can't get enough of it :)
with so much love, i really do,
Candice.
No comments:
Post a Comment