17 on the 17th!

before the clock striked 12, i was at the hospital.

its quite ironic when everyone wishes me HAPPY birthday when i saw my grandma at the CCU, stuck with tubes, unconcious and all. but no, i'm not being ungrateful, i don't feel sad.

we rushed there after recieving a call that she was in a critical condition. thank goodness it was a false alarm. but even so, watching my grandma in such a poor state put me appalled.

yet still, she had colour and was plump. i think i've never seen her so beautiful before.

haha. so a sister from church told us that even though a weak patient was unconcious, she could hear us. from a few days back when she couldn't hear us and all, i was sceptical.

leaning forward, i said in her ear: " Popo, can you hear me?" unnecessary to ask, but how to start right.

" Popo, i...." my throat caught, and i had a loss for words. and all i could say was just, " Po, i love you. i love you, i love you."

my mum and my sister joined in. with the choruses of "i love you"s, my sister said in awe," Ma, she's tearing."

and true enough, there was one sliding from one eye down to her cheek.

and obviously, we cried and continued to talk to her.

it was a night of conflict in me, what with looking at my grandma and feeling tears well up; and continuing to recieve text messages and feeling so appreciated. guys, THANK YOU, you've managed to put a smile on my face in this tough time i'm having here.

but now, not so tough. i know that she is going to heaven, i know i will see her in 60 to 70 years time? but eventually, i will lah. (:

i really thank God for everything currently, seriously. even if my grandma has to go away, it has impacted, bonded, superglued, restored, reminded, and refreshed so many things.

and today, Popo is getting much better with the help of meds. she is currently waiting for her eldest daughter to come back from NZ. and i just sang her Christain hymns. and checked for her reaction.

when i sang a chinese hymn, she opened one eyelid halfway. but when i sang an english one, she went right back to sleep. :)

oh popo, popo.

and for the outing that xinwei (credits!) planned, i just wanna thank again all who attended. i love all you guys!!! it was the best!

please, oh please.

Grandma's perfectly fine now. just for the ache in the neck and the inability to listen, curable but not with a hearing aid. oh gosh. Thank You, Lord!!!!!!!

when i visited her at the hospital, she was all in a blur. but at least everyone who came was recognised! the problems were her not being able to listen to what we said; and she trying to pull off the tube connected to her bladder, which obviously felt uncomfortable. poor thing lah.

nevertheless, HALLELUJAH; she is fine.

*breathes in and out deeply*. yessss.

500 DAYS OF SUMMER.....

Day 26: 'The next time you look back, you should look again.'

.....is the movie i wanna watch currently.

it is a movie where its gives insight into a guy's mind about a relationship, and hopefully i will get something out of it even more.

it was said to be the BEST DATING/CHICK-FLICK/ROM MOVIE ever. o.O

and i shall watch and comment about it kay.

boycott new moon with me? :D

but who knows? you might see me there at the cinema on its release date. shame!

this is my Popo.

she is feeling a little sick nowadays. one of her ears are infected, her throat feels terrible speaking is an inconvenience, and her hip hurts so badly she has to crouch a little.

i'd really want to cry. see, i hate to see old people to slowly age like that. and you know that one day, you're not going to see them for a very long time. her fragile figure had made me vulnerable too. its a bit too fast, don't you think? and the worst part is, there is nothing i can do to stop the process.

my mum told me when losing a loved one, the process, being through it all until the end; is always the most painful one. when she was in her teens and was around to spend the last weeks with her dad, she experienced it all. how he changed so much from the chemo and meds, how he lashed his frustration at her, how he saw 'things' around the hospital, how he went through the despair.

but no, my granny's not in despair. and no, she is not dying. but this opened my eyes, that this will happen someday. i know that she is going to heaven. but, saying a goodbye, and meet again for a really long time, is really hard.

and, you know, this doesn't really applies to family members only. its the people around you. to expand God's kingdom, you need to feel that life can be lost within secs. SO PRECIOUS. AND SO FRAGILE. not saying that everybody should be surgeons and stitch up bodies; more like, saving souls.

and, spread a little love. how could something that is supposed to be easily given out, be so hard to distribute? but truth is, the world needs more love. can't get enough of it :)

with so much love, i really do,

Candice.

PMR, and imbecility( if there was ever such a word.)

Science papers passed yesterday, i think. according to my sister, some of the questions looks like this:

Title: A flow chart shows the ecosystem relationships such as prey-predator etc. A guppy fish is linked to mosquitoe larvae, indicating that the former eats the latter.

After a few questions, a ridiculous one pops out: A GUPPY FISH IS PLACED IN A POND. WHY?

why???? you (*who's setting the paper) tell me why.

so i think, any form 3 student will tell you that PMR are actually written for, say, kindergarteners???

gosh. but then again don't complain: its a really easy route to go science stream right?

same goes for SPM actually. we can laugh about how kacang can SPM sometimes be, and when the new gradings come, then we only start to sweat cuz we might not make it for scholarships.

funny la, how life can be.

today, i very good girl, did some add maths.

can i specially request for the answer sheet for the paper? not the workings, just the answer.

because, i think i have devoloped something called: addmaths self-esteem deficit disorder.

you see, i can't quite answer questions like i used to answer my maths questions. i think, now English is my only best subject. and it doesn't even score an A+ like how the gov puts it!

oh my, how am i deteriorating.

ok. ran out of topics to blog about. will try to keep my brain alive.

adeus, for now.

i get to choose.

my daddy wants this guy to be his son-in-law.

talented, handsome, macho, should be the perfect husband?

and my mummy wants one of us sisters to marry him.

*pshht. she loves his eyes.

nope people. its not like i'm about to get married or i'm stuck in a love drama story, i think i just want to appreciate them. Wang Lee Hom is a Taiwanese singer/songwriter, while Daniel Henney is a half-Korean model-turned-actor.

given the choice, i would imaginably marry Daniel. i think i prefer men who express love through actions rather than words, hence the job titles. am i making sense?

anyhoo.

ladadee, ladadumm.

go and listen to the noisettes. and norah jones. i am hot for them, currently.

and i shall post music on them soon.

bye!

promises about not to touch blog until spm, broken.

haih.

such, are the life & times in CF.

TODAY IS THE LAST MEETING OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg it was sudden news, and i'm feeling oh-so-sad. will come back for camp next year!!! :)

anyways, Jamie baby was mc-ing in cf today, along with yew leung in tow. i tell you, through out the whole time i could only hear:

"eh, your sister, your sister!"

"eh her voice very cute hor??"

"is that your sister Jamie?"

"SO CHUBBY!!!"

i tell you, i've gotten used to it.

so after cf, i decided to introduce Jamie to a few of my guy friends. i didn't know who was i embarrassing, though! haha.

and on the way back home, i told my sister about the compliments, and it turns out it wasn't so flattering for her. " jie, why is my voice so cute? everything about me is cute!? i don't want! i'd rather a nasal girlish voice than this cute voice!" she would complain over and over again to me.

and i thought, not many people are that blessed to be that cute, but then again i'm not in her shoes, so i would never know. and so, the lesson of the day is, just don't take your looks for granted, accept who you are and know that you are dearly adorable to God!!!

i don't think i shall ever stop laughing when i think about this.

ta.