An innate move to bawl.

When you are moving at a fast pace, of course you don't stop to look behind pasts, people, things you've gained and lost.

Then the terrible thing happens.When you stop, winds howling in your ear are hushed. You see no longer nameless faces and distant voices, but memories current and past comes back to haunt you again and again.

This is me now. Everyone knows I've been flying past, and enjoying it as well. I've been walking, and there is no one to walk beside me. To know that friends have either been busy like I was, or even just walking away from you, gives scrapes at the bottom of my stomach. It continued to scrape when I didn't notice, and now I am stunned to find something so empty within me. 

I don't wanna blame anybody, or myself. There is a want to cry, but I cannot and I won't and to be honest I don't need to.

If sorries actually changed things, I would have said to every single one of you, on bended knee.